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98 BPM 3/8
I drank myself stupid and ate far too much, had sex with the wrong girl
Missed out on the Conga Line but I threw up whilst doing the Moonwalk to Mistletoe and Wine
And I realised it was time to go when I said to my boss - A penis you are
And so I drove home on the ice, meandering along the busy roads thinking of Christ
And then lo through my windscreen came a sleigh oh so bright, came a snowman so decorative but it was to the brick wall that I said goodnight
How, how had it come to this I had always been a careful soul
Ho hum this is Christmas - A carefree time Christmas - This Christmas time cares for us all
When I next awoke it was Christmas day morning, my mother was sat next to me
She said 'Son, this is some gift". As I lay rapped in plaster, thinking of festivities I'd miss
Like Only Fools and Horses, The Queen's Speech at Three and an Eastender's Wedding and nuts: Brazil nuts and walnuts and wine and more wine and pudding and turkey give me turkey I want turkey more turkey pl..
Oh Jesus Christ, I am so lucky. Jesus Christ, did I deserve this? Jesus Christ, who is my saviour? Is it you Jesus I cant dismiss?
How, how had it come to this I had always been a careful soul.
Ho hum this is Christmas - A carefree time Christmas - This Christmas time cares for us all
And I won't get depressed in January.
And I won't worry about what to buy.
And I won't feel that I need to smile.
And I won't think of Santa again or at least for a while.
CM
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